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In Our Words: A Mature Single Woman Walks into a Bar

Writer Jayne Seagrave leaves her comfort zone and finds comfort at a local watering hole

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“In Our Words” is an ongoing series where residents and local writers share stories of life on campus.

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While I am the first to admit I adore watching a romantic tear-jerker film in my pjs with cookies and a cup of tea—or, if the hour is accommodating, a gin and tonic—there is something to be said for sharing a media experience.

That’s what I recently did at the Sports Illustrated Clubhouse at Wesbrook Mall. While I have walked past the place on many occasions, I always thought it was a venue for the younger generation, not welcoming to my “type”—a retiree in her sixties.

But, oh, how wrong can you be!

Over a few weeks this summer, the European Football Championship took place in Germany. I adore soccer, but find my enjoyment considerably enhanced when shared with others, even when these “others” are complete strangers.

There is something I find invigorating about a place where my compatriots are screaming at the TV screen, reflecting (or not) my opinions, displaying without concern every emotion imaginable, and soliciting my views with a genuine interest, while earnestly engaging me in soccer-based conversation.

I confess it took a bit of courage to enter the crowded bar at midday on a warm Saturday in June. It took even more guts to ask if there was a seat available for a mature, single woman who may not appear to fit the stereotype of a soccer fan. Is this not a venue for men in their twenties, not retired women in their sixties?

Mike, the assistant manager, had none of my self-inflicted biases, identifying me only as a gal who likes her football, and with a broad smile and attention to detail, he led the way through the throng to one of the few seats available at the bar.

Immediately, my next-seat neighbour wanted to know who I was routing for (Germany was playing Spain and I wanted Germany to win, as I have German friends). We realized we were on the same page, and he introduced himself and his 17-year-old son. He said they were from Langley and his son was about to play soccer later that day at UBC.

A bond quickly formed as we watched and commented on the game, talked about who we thought would win, and then during the breaks shared stories of supporting our children during their soccer careers.

For under $30, I had wonderful bar food, copious amounts of coffee, and over two hours of immense enjoyment. I was so delighted by the experience that I subsequently watched another six games there, becoming almost a regular. The bar also played its part by opening early to accommodate the European timing and provided breakfast on match days for the bargain price of $9.

I could have seen this tournament alone, in my pjs, in the comfort of my home, screaming at the screen, soliciting no responses, but instead I chose another direction. It took confidence to step out of my comfort zone, but in so doing I engaged with my community, mixed with individuals I do not normally encounter, enjoyed hearing the conversation of others and left totally contented.

Sometimes it is easier to stay in our own confines, to walk past restaurants and bars and feel they are unwelcoming. But if this internal barrier can be broken down, a wonderful world awaits. At UBC, there are so many opportunities to encounter these worlds. Time to take the plunge.

JAYNE SEAGRAVE IS A B.C. RESIDENT AND BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF “CAMPING BRITISH COLUMBIA, THE ROCKIES AND THE YUKON”. SHE WRITES FICTION AND NON-FICTION, AND OCCASIONALLY TEACHES WRITING AND PUBLISHING COURSES.   

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